Plea

What happens when you really, really want something…

But it looks like that one thing, that seemed just inches away from you before… Is disappearing and fading away… bit by bit. And you don’t know why, and how or what the heck went wrong..

And it make you feel fustrated, scared, and lost?

Everytime you lose hope and start forgetting about it, something happens and it swims into view again, you reach for it, and *poof* it’s gone.

I guess this is my punishment, my terrible thirst after the waters of Tarturus…

Now I found something else… and it’s similiar to what I’ve sought after, so long.. But somehow, though it’s simliar, it doesn’t make me feel the same.. All I know is… I could give up right now, and just accept what is already available to me.

OR

I could continue pursuing something that has caused me so much pain and hurt…. But also brought me laughter and joy. I could continue to stumble over scorching desert land to seek after an oasis, which could very possibly be a mirage, with a dry throat and parched lips…

Like,

if you will pardon my French…

An Ass following a Carrot.

And in the meantime, while I continue to stagger and suffer insult and injury… It’s time to deliver the final blow to the last vestiges of my dignity…

Save me… Please…?

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