Funeral For A Friend

I once attended a Funeral…

I was a kid at the time, and I didn’t really understand Death or actually, to rephrase it, Why Death had to be sad.

I distinctly remembering a certain pale, fragrant flower in my hands, which I had picked up after it’s fall from the twisted form of an old tree to the moist earthy ground…

I also remember my mum scolding me and saying “It’s dirty, throw it away” I shook my head, and looked at the flower instead, it was marked with ugly brown spots, yet, somehow, it retained a certain charm. It was, in it’s own special way,

Beautiful…

It’s beauty held me there on that one spot for what seemed like ages, and I squatted right there over the dark earth, in my uncomfortable green cotton mourning clothes, with the droning of the priest and the mutters and stifled sobs of the other mourners, dismissed at the back of my mind as mere background scenery, I turned the flower over and over in my hands, brown spots on the beautiful creamy petals, the scent of it sickeningly sweet…

And when I walked away from that quiet shady spot under the tree, to join my cousins as they ran, jumped, skipped and played outside the tight circle of mourning and adulthood,

I didn’t have that flower anymore..

But there was a little mound of dirt, decorated with twigs and pebbles, right where a little kid had squatted down, under the shade of a fragrant, flower tree…

Now, I’m having another funeral…

 And in my mind I see the flower again, it represents my memories. They’re beautiful memories, ones that make you smile, and it brings back senses, smells and such longing… But it’s beauty is marred.. And because of that, there is sadness, hurt and pain woven into memories that used to be treasured… And though it smells sweet, the longer I hold it close, the sicker I become.

So I put all of those memories into this flower… 

All it can represent…

And I place it gently on to the sands of time and cover it up…

That it might heal faster…

And I decorate it prettily and smile…

So that I can pretend that underneath, under all the concealment…

Everything is Perfect =)

Then I allow myself one tear, because that is what the Spanish ladies do…

Then I’ll run off…

 With a Smile on my face, and solitary wet line drying on my cheek…

 …

And I’ll join the rest to play

=)

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8 Responses to “Funeral For A Friend”

  1. another emo postXD niceeeeee

  2. emoness…hahaha nice XD

  3. ive attended a number of funerals and yeah, theyre kinda sad. like really sad. check out my blog. awesome new post available neways. =)

  4. hmmm… not everyone understands the msg behind it i see… =)

  5. Hey Lex, long time no visit here..lols

    Anyway Merry Christmas to you!!

  6. Lol. Merry Christmas ;P And yea… the msg is hidden. hehehe.. Emo rules too though =P

  7. hehe… 2 bad my DEAR told me… XP

  8. Lol. uhuh. Lucky for u =P

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