Some Trees Can’t Grow Here

I’m so tired..
I really am just exhausted.
I feel like giving up right now, and just letting the tides of fate wash me away into the calming seas..

I need to write this rant.. Just for me.
There needn’t be any explanations, or justifications, there just simply has to be a need.
And I’m tired…

I really am just heartbroken.
I feel like walking away right now, and just let what’s left of the fading facade of my happiness crumble and crush me beneath the pain and despair.

Such futile struggles..
Such hapless words..

What am I doing here?
Why am I still here?

Here they supply me with a book, possibly one with a camera-ready smile and reassuring DIY Fix.
I’m raring to get my life on track, so much so that the mud has already flung itself into my heated face while my life decides to fight itself deeper into a fix.

Am I so committed to this goal-less quest that I would sacrifice Joy, Sleep, Energy, Youth, Time.. Faith?

Or maybe it isn’t sacrifice.. But Loss. Loss of childhood dreams, ambition and determination.

The carefree abandon of roots dug deep in my heart ripped, no, torn away..
Yet they are not so greedy as merely young..
Easily too focused on themselves to remember me..
And as the mother tree withers..
No one weeps in distress of it’s once gloriously strong rhythm.

So here I am, truly alone, unable to grow on foreign land.

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