Composing One’s Self

Posted in Uncategorized on August 30, 2014 by Lex

“Breathe in for four seconds, hold it for four seconds, then exhale for four seconds.”

– Papa Syuk (My former OBS teammate on calming your breath after a 5 mile jog.)

The John Hopkins School of Medicine states that normal respiration rates for an adult person at rest range from 12-16 breaths per minute.

Now breathing –

It doesn’t seem like something you would forget to do, so it becomes a shocking revelation after each reminder in Acting class breathing exercises and each well-meaning constant look from my class mates, that…

… I forget to breathe.

  Cue relevant ad.


My point is, if you want to learn how to compose yourself, take a moment right now.. and breathe.


One Step At A Time

Posted in Uncategorized on August 28, 2014 by Lex

I feel like everything is a constant struggle right now.

Now, “Depression” is a term that is being flung around nowadays like rice at a hipster wedding, It looks cool when it’s flying through the air in clusters, but when it settles, all you’re left with is a flat mess the janitor will grumble over.. In clusters.

I think I may be depressed. Little things, sometimes even words, can set me off on a spiral down of hopelessness and fear. Even getting up to pour myself a bowl of cereal is a task in itself, and I feel drained when I have to interact with others sometimes.

Luckily, I have friends and family who help me and remind me to get up and keep going. I don’t even have to talk to them about this stuff, I don’t even need to vaguebook, I just have to watch them go about their day.

Here’s a relevant quote:

“The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself.”

Oscar Wilde

He’s right, which is why the best advice I’ve ever heard when you feel like you’ve lost direction is to step outside your door. Even if it’s for a few minutes, even if it’s within a 3 feet radius. Life will somehow remind you that things still move, the minute hand will move, you can move.

I hope whoever reads this will think about moving. Whether I am depressed or not, I am still moving. And I hope that you will too.

I have a Black Dog, It’s named Depression.


Dodging Hypocrisy

Posted in Uncategorized on August 13, 2014 by Lex

Since I got Ms. Megan updating her blog, I figured I write a little something too, though I am nowhere near as productive.

Well, moving into a new apartment in Dallas, TX is a lot more exhausting than one may think. Then there’s the whole temptation of filling it with.. Stuff that costs $$$. Personally, I’ve never felt more at war with myself for stockpiling my kitsch checkerboard kitchen with Ace’s $10-worth of Mason Jars.



No, I’m not getting paid for this =(

They’re not the fancy 2014 BALL® HERITAGE COLLECTION SPRING GREEN MASON JARS celebrating the 100th year anniversary of the “Perfection” jar, but here is what I gather –


Look how Big Red Kitchen does it!

On the one hand, you get drink-ware, serve-ware, bake-ware, microwave-ware, pickle-ware and storage-ware all folded into elegant glass. If all else fails, you can even turn them into tealights for a wedding, or goodness gracious, grow spices in them!

On the other hand.. It’s $10.





And now I can say I wrote about…  *cough*  …Ball®s.

The Waiting Game

Posted in Uncategorized with tags on February 27, 2014 by Lex

My life plans are like dominos right now. Credit to stellanutella


Job hunting is hard. Job-hunting with a legal start date is even harder.

It’s like having dominoes lined up perfectly a month before you are allowed to tip the first one over.

Even worse, they now fill up your room so you have no way of starting a new project until it gets cleared away.

It’s like a bad prank to keep you imprisoned, you just sit in the corner and try to acquire as many relevant skills as you can..

Then maybe some day, you’ll get to play.

Success and Failure

Posted in Uncategorized on December 2, 2013 by Lex

I think sometimes, what if things were as simple as success and failure.

Well, it’d suck.

Because much of what everyone calls my failures, I consider situations that have brought me down my to my knees, only to notice a blade of grass in the multitude which I trample upon regularly.

Times that have me shivering in the cold, if only to witness the moment the sun and mercury rise at their leisure, when night turns to day.

Moments that have me hurtling down a slippery slope, laughing every moment of the way, only to hit rock bottom and look up to realize that there’s nowhere else to go but trudging upwards once again.

Nothing is granted us. Nothing will last. So take hold of every moment, even if you know that you can only smile at it with a wistful glance backwards.


Posted in Uncategorized on November 3, 2013 by Lex

It’s almost time for graduation.

Then I will drive up North and down the West Coast on a shoe-string budget road trip.

Dispensing resumes, portfolios and attempting to network.

It’s a lot to look forward to, but for now, I need to focus on my little steps.

And not sink.

NO. You may not…

Posted in Uncategorized on July 29, 2013 by Lex

take my heart.

tear out the ragged bits.

ground it into salt and lime.

know anymore about me.

use it against me.

promise to never do it again.

My heart is not mine to give anymore.

So stop.

Leave Me Alone.